The Highest Form of Life

 (or the 6th Element)

 

Onward they marched, nature perfected them eons ago and now they were on they’re way to show the sharks who’s the better species. At first they took over the couch but when they realized one of their soon to be victims was wearing beach sandals they launched a full scaled attack that made the twin towers tragedy seem like a bad episode of “Mesibat Gan”. What can I say?

Bamba to the victor…

 

 

Yes, it was a hectic game, I have to say that I learned something – it’s not the same when you’re playing without Wilbur…

What’s that you’re saying? He was there?!? I think not! If he were there, do you think I’d be so mellow (even after the day I had today – and don’t get me started on that one!)? I just can’t feel more neurotic free…

Yoav wasn’t there – I think one of the roaches (perhaps Mr. Samsa) pulled the oldest trick a cockroach pulled on a human, the good ol’ “men in back” – where you make the human turn (usually with a rogue – or was it a ruse?) and creep inside of him (via any opening) and take control. How else can you explain the sane, accent-less character we encountered (at first I was almost certain it was an NPC – considering the fact Eyal played him and not Yoav – I always fall to that one…) which turned out to be a merchant who has the great skill of sound observation and quiet pacing? I bet he can even decipher words and scale partitions…

 

 

About the ice cream glutton that I am, for starters, I wouldn’t have gone up the stairs if it wasn’t for mama Ganor’s desire to feed anyone and anything that knocks on the fridge’s door, furthermore, I hardly remember a time when dear faygetz was at my house and didn’t sack the kitchen…

 

 

Now for the “let’s think how to add Yoav’s psychosis and Bender’s megalomania into our background” idea, well, did you ever consider taking a character who wasn’t an orderly at some mental hospital in the past or one that didn’t come from the Kara-Tur / Jamaica (I repeat, NO JACKAL!!!) / Baator etcetera? Good, now that we agree we can resume the semi coalition of sanity and throw out the rejects when we find them in a dungeon / a cell / Amorphia and so on…

 

 

My best wishes for the next year, just try to recognize yours...

 

May a plane crush on you this year,

A tape worm infest your interiors,

May you discover those wonderful ticks that could always be used, as icebreakers will be diagnosed as Torret syndrome,

Win a lifetime supply of tonic (or rubber dolls),

Find an ample supply of elderly nameless teachers to fondle at your leisure,

May you finally go on that long expected trip to the desert, just you, the bike and the president...

 

P.S. - one was a decoy and had nothing to do with anyone of you guys...

 

 

 

 

          Good Idea

 

Having a reliable car…

 

      Better Idea

 

Having a reliable insurance company…

         

      Best Idea

 

Having a reliable Garage…

 

    Bad Idea

 

Having a red 95’ Polo that gets overheated in the middle of the night…

 

    Worse Idea

 

Using the towing services of a two hour late truck with a Russian driver who can’t find a vodka store even if he crushed into one…

 

    Worst Idea

 

Taking your car to a garage that holds Al Bundy’s original Dodge as a replacement car for the esteemed and valued customers…

 

 

 

          Good Idea

 

Having a nice modron house for YKB in the hood in Kfar-Saba (where they break antennas of cars for sports).

 

      Better Idea

 

Playing the YKB in the occupied territories with a neurotic-magnetized drool-monster as a pet.

         

      Best Idea

 

Playing the YKB in a normal place.

 

    Bad Idea

 

Renting a motel room for YKB.

 

    Worse Idea

 

Not playing at all on YKB, staring at the ceiling and drooling from boredom, having to go out to the bridge (or whatever gathering place they have in your home suck-vile) just so you won’t hang yourself with your broom (and if you didn’t get it, ask me about the peepee-boy) due to frustration…

 

    Worst Idea

 

Playing YKB in a typical porn-shanty (trust me on that one, she gained a few pounds…)…

 

 

 

          Good Idea

 

Playing a sane character (one that didn’t share a cell with the Joker and Poison Ivy) with no accent, just a regular Joe (or Gary for that matter)…

 

    Bad Idea

 

Playing the Rumanian sinister jester.

 

    Worse Idea

 

Playing the morbid minstrel.

 

    Worst Idea

 

I really hate to mention the deranged torch thrower of a mage who got me to develop a severe stereotype about the entire Transcendent Order…